Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 10:07 AM
Chapter 20: Hairclips don’t CrySuggested song/music: Rainy Night - Kim Xiah Junsu
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gu3BKelNHTQ)
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Rain in my heart
The tears aren’t stopping tonight
It’s like the short-lived
Forgotten thing that you last left
I miss you
The world without you would be darkness-filled
If only this was but a dream
I wanted to see you, oh my girl
The reason why I can’t see you
Is because I don’t want to hear you say goodbye
Baby I still love you
Please stop crying
You cry all the time, oh baby
But those parts of you are so sweet
Now it’s not me, it’s somebody else
Who is comforting your tears
But I still love you
You exist only in the unforgettable memories
Forever, this feeling
Ever since we embraced each other on that day
Your scent never released me
Baby I still love you
I carved your name
To the cross I can’t eliminate from my heart
Baby, you are my love
The world without you would be darkness-filled
If only this was but a dream
I wanted to see you, oh my girl
The reason why I can’t see you
Is because I don’t want to hear you say goodbye
But I still love you
Baby I still love you
You exist only in the unforgettable memories
This feeling forever, it’s not going to stop
My girl, even if deep in my heart gets wet
I can’t say goodbye cause I love you
Approaching Li Yin’s place with every step taken, Junsu felt his heart weighing down on him. He wanted to hold onto Li Yin and never let go. He wanted to tell her repeatedly how much he loves her. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. ’Not possible. Wake up, Junsu. Wake up…’ a voice kept on repeating the words in his mind. “Wake up…” Junsu said subconsciously. “Wake up, Junsu…”
“Junsu? What’s wrong?” Li Yin looked at him worriedly. He has been acting strange ever since this morning. Junsu shook his head and flashed a weak smile at Li Yin. ’How can I tell her? How can I say that I’m leaving? I can’t tell her to find a better love, I can’t let go…’
“Good night, Li Yin. You must dream of me every night, okay?” Junsu laid a gentle peck on her cheek, leaving her blushing madly. Nodding her head in embarrassment, Li Yin rained her small fists on Junsu’s chest lightly. “You… you must dream of me too!” just as Li Yin spun around to enter the house, Junsu grabbed her hand and pulled her into a tight embrace. ‘From now on, it’s probably going to be that guy who hugs and comforts you when your father abuses you. So just let me… hug you one last time…’
“Mr Clown, do you think Junsu’s acting real weird today?” Li Yin mumbled as she took off the hairclip. Admiring it under the moonlight, Li Yin seemed to see a teardrop rolling down the cheek of the clown. “Oh my goodness… I’m hallucinating, aren’t I?” Li Yin rubbed her eyes and stared hard at the hairclip for a few minutes. Sighing, she placed it on the floor along with the photo of her and Junsu before making her way to the bathroom. “I must be too tired. Hairclips don‘t cry…”
“Young Master, your plane tickets have been purchased. As you wish, I’ve gotten tomorrow’s plane tickets.” Mr Kang handed the ticket to Junsu. “Are you sure about leaving so soon? Mister Park came this afternoon and instructed me to tell you about his marriage with Miss Han. Aren’t you going to attend his wedding?”
“If I have to leave, I should do so as soon as possible. Before me heart wavers, before my heart takes over my mind. I’ll have to miss his wedding.” Junsu took one last look at the stack of photographs in his hand before packing them into his luggage. “Sorry, Li Yin. I can’t bring myself to tell you I’m leaving. I’m sorry…”
Tossing and turning about in his bed, Junsu’s mind is filled with images of Li Yin. How they first met at Les Dieux de l'Est s'élèvent, how he saved her, how he fell in love with her… picking up his mobile phone, he highlighted Li Yin’s name in his contact list. Finger hovering over the ‘call’ button, he hesitated. ‘Should I call her? I might not be able to keep it from her if I do. Forget it.’ throwing the phone back to its position on his bedside table, he sighed and stared at the ceiling. Suddenly remembering the clown hairclip which he had brought for Li Yin, Junsu sprung up from his bed. There’s something about that hairclip which bothers him. Pulling open his already packed luggage, Junsu dug out the photos taken earlier in the day. “The clown…” his fingers shook as he fingered the hairclip in the picture. “The clown… resembles Li Yin somehow…”
Li Yin hummed softly as she polished the surface of her clown hairclip. It has became her most prized possession. ‘Because Junsu brought it for me.’ Li Yin’s lips arched upwards as she gently cleaned it with the cloth. Everything has been peaceful recently, since her father hasn’t been coming home. A peaceful life and loving boyfriend, what else could she ask for? The hairclip slipped from her hand as she was spacing out. Gasping, Li Yin hurriedly rescued her beloved hairclip from the ground. “It broke…” looking at the clown which had separated from the clip, Li Yin had a sudden ominous feeling.
***
“Dear, you must take good care of yourself in the US, you hear me?” Mrs Kim patted Junsu’s head. He had requested for his parents to not send him off. He didn’t want any crying scenes. Probably because crying scenes reminded him too much of Li Yin. He nodded his head to everything his mother said, but half of what she said didn’t even make it to him. “Listen to your mother when she speaks!” Mr Kim bellowed from behind Junsu. Remaining silent, Junsu hung his head low. He did not want to think about anything apart from Li Yin right now. He wanted to spend his last moments in Seoul thinking about Li Yin only. Ignoring his father’s angry shouts, Junsu made his way to his convertible with Mr Kang behind him.
Shutting his eyes tightly, Junsu leaned against the seat and tried to get some sleep. Last night has been filled with heartache and pain. He didn’t even get a wink of sleep. ‘At least we’re looking at the same sky, inhaling the same air, standing on the same ground right now…’ Junsu tried to comfort himself. Last night has been torturing enough. He had no idea how he would make it past the following nights. Trying to shake off the thoughts, he started singing softly. “Rain in my heart, the tears aren’t stopping tonight. It’s like the short-lived forgotten thing that you last left…”
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