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Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 10:18 AM




Chapter 36: Unspeakable Pain
Suggested song/music: It doesn’t hurt - Angela Zhang
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCGAxUDnanU)
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Blinking her eyes repeatedly, Ri In tried to adjust her eyes to the blinding florescent lights. She felt something warm holding her hand tightly, and a heavy object on the side of her stomach. “Junsu…” Ri In muttered and withdrew her hand from his gently. Woken by the groan Ri In let out as she attempted to sit up, Junsu jumped onto his feet and placed his hands on Ri In’s cheeks, cupping her face. “Are you feeling better?”
“What happened?” Ri In answered him with a question.
“You passed out suddenly, so I brought you to the emergency department and they warded you after doing a couple of checks. How are you feeling now?” Junsu asked again. Ri In lowered her feet to the floor and stood up, ignoring Junsu’s question. Her sight swept pass the room and she smiled bitterly. The same ward she was in seven months ago when she got into that accident. Why does it seem like Fate is playing with her?

“Get out of the room! Get lost!” Ri In shouted agitatedly and threw the pillow towards Junsu.
“Why won’t you just tell me? Tell me what exactly happened seven months ago, tell me what happened to you the day I left! I have the right to know what happened to our child too!” Junsu shouted back just as agitatedly.
“You have no rights to call my baby your child! You’re not the father of my child!” Ri In retorted.
“What do you mean?” Junsu leaned in dangerously close to her, breathing hard against Ri In’s neck. His hands worked their way up and pinned Ri In on the hospital bed. “I know that the child is mine, so stop lying.” he whispered.
Ri In tilted her head the other way, a tear rolling down her cheek. Junsu sighed and climbed off Ri In. He placed a finger on her cheek, catching the teardrops that continued to fall. “Don’t cry… it breaks my heart when you do…”

“I will not deprive you of what you want to know. But what I choose to do in the future is none of your business.” Ri In laid down her conditions. Much as Junsu wanted to protest, he forced himself to nod his head. ‘You should know I would never take it seriously anyway…’
“I was preparing a cake for you when Yoochun called me. Initially, I had wanted to surprise you with the cake, and announce to my pregnancy to you. After the call, my plans had to change of course. I took off, wanting to get to you as soon as possible. But on my way, Zhang Xiong appeared and pushed me onto the road harshly. Before I knew what happened, I was ran over by a lorry, and when I woke up I was disfigured, and I lost my baby.” Ri In broke down again when she came to this part. Junsu scooted closer to her and wanted to embrace Ri In when she shook her head. “I don’t need you.”

“I don’t need you. It was my family which helped me through my darkest period in life. I guess this accident was a blessing in disguise. I got to acknowledge my biological father, and that is enough. I’m now rich and famous, and I definitely do not need you.” Ri In said through gritted teeth. Her hands clutched onto the bed sheets tightly. It hurt her when she said those words. It feels like her heart was being ripped into two as she said that to Junsu. But still, she felt that this was the best for them. “Like what you said seven months ago, we’re over.”

“Ri In…” Junsu felt something he has never felt before. He felt fear. It grew rapidly in his body, taking over his heart and mind. “No, don’t… we’re not over yet. You still need me, just like I need you. Please don’t say that we’re over.” he clung onto Ri In’s arm desperately. Ri In merely smirked before shoving his hand away. “So now you know how desperate and helpless I felt then. This is the feeling of being abandoned. This is the feeling of being left behind. This is how it feels like, when the one you love doesn’t want you anymore.” Ri In spun around promptly and made her way out of the ward towards the counter to get her paperwork for discharge done.

Junsu drove his convertible at breakneck speed as he chased after the cab Ri In has hailed. His fists were tightened around the steering wheel, and his leg jammed down hard on the oil pedal. Expertly dodging other cars in the lane, he finally managed to force Ri In off the cab. “Are you crazy?” Ri In snapped furiously.
“Indeed I am. I’m crazy to have left you. I’m crazy, I’m stupid, and I’ve been a total jerk. But now I’m telling you this - I will not leave you, regardless of what you say.” feeling satisfaction after speaking his mind, Junsu took off the other direction, leaving Ri In standing in the middle of the road to glare at him menacingly.

“I will marry Jang Ri In” was the first sentence Junsu said when he stepped into the Kim residence. Mrs Kim grinned delightedly, clapping her hands. “She does not like me now, but I will do all I can within my ability to make her fall for me. We will get married.” Junsu proclaimed.
“What about the blonde doll?” Mr Kim walked into the living room, his eyebrows closely knitted together. His question sent a hard blow on Junsu. Sitting himself down on the couch, Junsu lowered his head as he thought of what he had said to both Ri In and Chloe. ‘I need you, you are the only one I need.’ he felt like slapping himself as he recalled that sentence. He’d have to hurt one of them, and that person is the one who stood rooting for him all these while. It pained him to know that he is going to have to hurt Chloe badly.

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Can a shattered mirror be repaired? Can the cracks be ignored? You must know what are the consequences of making this decision, Kim Junsu. Everything comes with a price.
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