Thursday, November 19, 2009 @ 6:03 PM
Chapter 5: Pain from Within
Suggested song/music: Glass - Kim John Hoon
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hH9o2FkWtXM)
When the performance was over, all the villagers crowded around the central square to just dance and have fun mingling with each other. However, Jun Xiu had to leave behind the funfair to return to his mansion - the cold and empty palace which he was caged in. He got onto the car quickly with Zai Zhong’s assistance, turning back to steal glances at the village before he was chauffeured back to his mansion which was situated far from the core of the village. Throughout the ride, Jun Xiu had his eyes shut tightly, trying to replay the scene of Xuan Na and the puppet show in his mind. A tiny smile tugged at the corners of his lips. She is probably the only person on earth who is keeping him going. Keeping Jin Jun Xiu’s heart beating.
As soon as Zai Zhong settled Jun Xiu in his bed, he picked up the phone lying by his bedside and started spinning the numbers on the telephone. “Wait…” Jun Xiu croaked, reaching out a hand to stop Zai Zhong. “Don’t call the physician over… just get me my pills…” Jun Xiu’s eyes shone pleadingly. Zai Zhong sighed before replacing the receiver on the phone and pulling out the drawer to retrieve the Young Master’s pills. Jun Xiu turned his head towards the open drawer and felt something heavy weighing down his heart. He dislike pills, dislike being weak, dislike being what he is today. And yet he was a slave of his incurable sickness. He had no choice. Jun Xiu opened his mouth obediently as Zai Zhong popped a couple of different pills into his mouth before shutting the wide array of bottles into the drawer again. A lump formed in Jun Xiu’s throat and made swallowing difficult. It wasn’t because he couldn’t swallow the huge amount of medicine at one go. It was because he was trying to fight back his tears.
Somewhere in the other part of the world, definitely far from where their sick child is residing at, a couple is engaged in a fiery quarrel. They shouted at each other loudly, slammed the table occasionally, and calmed down again. The process then repeats itself like a cycle. This is something which never fails to happen at this time of each year. Their son’s birthday. It is not that they do not love him, but instead it is because they loved him too much, so much that it has slowly grew into hatred. They hated him for ruining their otherwise perfect life. They hated him for developing the strange disease. They hated him for the flaws in their life. Flaws, he was the only flaw. Jin Jun Xiu is the imperfection in their perfect life.
“Why don’t we just send him a present this year? Why waste our efforts purchasing place tickets which cost a bomb only to fly over to see a sick child? We should just let him rest and recuperate. Perhaps he’s just lacking rest. If he rests enough, he will become healthy again,” Master Jin said. How ironic. Letting a sick child rest by himself? Shouldn’t any normal parent be worried sick and want to stay by their child to ensure his health is slowly picking up again?
“No. It’s just once in a year anyway. We just have to return as per normal, throw him lavish party, and we can leave the next day. Have you forgotten what the physician said? He said Jun Xiu is too lonely.” Madam Jin retorted.
And so, their quarrels came to no end as each held strongly onto their own viewpoints. Yet, who is the one who truly had Jun Xiu’s welfare at heart?
Xuan Na giggled as You Tian did a funny dance. Traditional music played loudly, and the folks jumped and hopped about merrily. Her heart is slowly thumping faster as her stepbrother leaned closer towards her. She can even smell the faint scent of soap coming from him. The festival is crawling towards the end. And when would be the next time she can be this close to her stepbrother publicly? Next year’s festival? At times like this, she would always wish that she has the ability to sop time. If such a power is within her possession, she would stop time right at this moment, so that her happiness would never end. Call her selfish if you wish to, but isn’t loving someone a selfish thing to begin with?
Dragging her tired body into the house, Xuan Na dropped onto bed immediately. “Get up and have a quick shower!” You Tian sang melodiously as he entered her room. Just as he had predicted, Xuan Na is attempting to go to bed without cleaning herself after being out the whole day. “Shower before you sleep, unless you want the stinky smell of perspiration to follow you.” You Tian pulled her up by her arms. Xuan Na groaned in protest, yet her feet obeyed You Tian’s command to enter the bathroom. What did you expect? Jin Xuan Na would never fail to listen to her beloved You Tian…
Refreshed after her shower, Xuan Na walked back to her room with water droplets dripping from her hair. It was on purpose. She knew how You Tian would fuss about her catching the cold and dry her hair with a towel forcefully. She wanted it to happen. Because only then could she feel how You Tian is worried about her, how much he cares for her. And from it, she can daydream about growing old with him, having him dry her hair everyday after her bath. She knew it as wrong, yet she couldn’t stop her feelings from developing. Honestly speaking, she has tried. But it was a futile attempt. The one and only time she tried to distance herself from You Tian was when she ignored him for the whole week. However, when she saw how dejected You Tian was, asking the question “You don’t need me to take care of you anymore, am I right?”, her heart immediately softened and gave in to this game of love. Truth is, the both of them needed each other just as much. And ever since then, she could no longer bring herself to try to keep You Tian out of her heart.
Coughing furiously, Jun Xiu jolt awake from his sleep and dashed for the restroom connected to his room. Throwing up all of the porridge he has forced himself to consume during dinner, he felt frail and leaned against the wall for support. These days, he kept having the thought that he wouldn’t live for very long. Maybe he would not survive to see tomorrow’s sunrise. Or maybe on the contrary, he would live a long life and die free of regrets. Slowly shuffling his feet back towards his bed, Jun Xiu sat himself at the edge and reached his hand beneath the bed. Locating what he wanted, he pulled out the photo album and placed it on his lap after blowing off the thick layer of dust. It has been many years since he last touched this, so much so that he has nearly forgotten its existence. Will he be like the album someday? Will he cease to exist in everyone’s memories? The fear caused by uncertainty engulfed him once again…
A/N
i personally think its getting boring looking at just junsu, xuan na, yoochun and jaejoong all the time. have you guessed the hidden meaning behind my words yet? :D
btw, i'm thinking of removing this 'one chapter per ten days' rule which i set while i went away. i might make it one update in two days etc. tell me what you think alright! ^ ^
xiaoxi,loves.
NEXT UPDATE
Date: 29 NOVEMBER 2009
Simple time conversion table:
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Seoul Time 18:00
Chicago Time 03:00
Paris Time 10:00
Seattle Time 01:00
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