Sunday, January 17, 2010 @ 5:00 PM
Chapter 10: Letting GoSuggested song/music: White Lies - DBSK
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGcZ4Q6t2fI)
The gentle breeze blowing against Jun Xiu remained as chilly as ever despite the fact that he now has company in the mansion. Like the zephyr, his heart too, remained freezing and lonely. The lady he has secretly been in love with for years is now living under the same roof as he is, and yet he could do nothing. He has no rights to confess to her, not when he can’t even be in charge of his own life without messing it up. He just
murdered someone close to him - his beloved cousin. Regardless of what she did to him, she is still his cousin and childhood playmate. And just her flying over especially to attend his birthday party is worth forgiving. Yet he shouted at her when he saw her. He even caused her death, spoiling her wedding plans and bright future. Someone like him deserves to be strewn right into hell. He selfishly fears a lonely death, yet what has he done to Yu Bin?
Dragging himself out of his room, Jun Xiu forced himself to leave his seclusion for a breather. Walking past the guest room, his steps slowed down to a stop as he imagined the lady behind the door. ‘Xuan Na.’ he yearned to call her name aloud. A bitter smile plastered on his face, he caressed the carvings on the wooden door. “Good night.” that was the only thing he could find to say, even if he wasn’t talking to her in person. Suddenly feeling void of energy, Jun Xiu took heavy strides downstairs. He never drinks, but he knows that there is an extensive collection of wines in the kitchen, courtesy of the guests who come once yearly for his birthday. What he needs tonight is a good drink…
Unable to fall asleep in an unfamiliar surrounding, Xuan Na tossed and turned repeatedly in her bed. She needs getting used to this soft and bouncy bed. In fact, she needs to get used to everything in this mansion. Just the washroom alone is huge enough to be her bedroom. Although she knows that Jin Jun Xiu is rich, she never expected him to be this rich. It’s a pity that such an exquisite mansion is hidden away from everyone and only available to the Jins whom she bet does not even treasure the place properly. Deciding that she will never be able to fall asleep, Xuan Na tiptoed to You Tian’s room. Instead of staring at the ceiling, she would rather stare at You Tian’s sleeping face.
“Young Master Shen, lets go back. It’s already midnight, I’m worried about Young Master. He must be feeling very bad right now…” Zai Zhong shook his head at Chang Min who has been holding Yu Bin’s body in a tight embrace since afternoon. Chang Min merely glared at him with distaste written all over his face. “All you’re concerned about is that murderer’s well-being when he killed my Yu Bin.” Chang Min said coldly. “Leave if you must. I’m not going to let Yu Bin lie here alone.”
Zai Zhong sighed as he sat down on the chair. Chang Min is right. Although Young Master was the one who caused Young Mistress Jin’s death, he’s more worried about Young Master. Knowing him, Jun Xiu must be blaming himself for what happened. Will he remember to take his medicine on time? Will he have another relapse?
Coughing as the liquid scorched his throat, Jun Xiu’s eyes started to sparkle as it brimmed with tears. The liquor helped not in getting him drunk, but caused him to be even more wide awake. Jun Xiu lowered his head slowly to rest it on the table. Recalling every little incident since young, he realised how his life has been like a film made up of all the possible scenarios. It struck him then that he had forgotten about what he taught himself. To protect himself, he must distance himself from all others, even if it meant loneliness and sadness. He hasn’t been following what he believes in and fell in love. He did not stop himself from growing closer to Xuan Na, and his outburst of jealousy caused Yu Bin’s life. He suddenly found it ironical how he fears dying a lonely death and yet caused Yu Bin to leave them during her prime years. Tears wetting a patch on the table, Jun Xiu shut his eyes tightly, wishing he could shut himself off from the world just as easily.
How much time passed since the last time I was truly happy? My world used to revolve around you, but right now whenever I think of you, I feel like crying. As long as you can obtain happiness this way, I am willing to forget and let go of you… If only there is a chance, I would show you all of my love. Please don’t ever cry, because I can’t be there to wipe your tears. You have to be happy. Put my name out of your mind and take it that I have never existed. Someone like me am not even worthy of your remembrance… I have no rights to mention even common words like ‘I love you’. I will erase you from my memory. I will go to a place where you do not exist…After much persuasion, Chang Min finally let go of his hold on Yu Bin’s body. As much as he was unwilling, he had to let the nurses bring her body away. He was a doctor-to-be. He knew that nothing would be able to revive his fiancé. He was just too stubborn and upset to listen to anyone. Caressing the bed which Yu Bin has been lying on, he can still feel the warmth lingering on the surface. How is it possible for her to leave him behind? How could she bear to leave him behind? What is he going to do now? How is he going to continue living without her?
“Take it easy. Everyone has to leave someday. Young Mistress Jin has moved to paradise now.” Zai Zhong placed a comforting hand on Chang Min’s shoulder. Chang Min nodded briefly in reply. “Are you very close to Jin Jun Xiu and Yu Bin? Do you know a lot about their relationship? Can you tell me more about them?” Chang Min suddenly grew curious about Jun Xiu and Yu Bin’s childhood. You Bin always seem to feel sorry towards Jun Xiu, but she has never once told him about her relation with Jun Xiu in detail. Zai Zhong hesitated momentarily before recounting their childhood. His lips stretched into a tiny crescent as he told Chang Min about their happy yet bitter past…
A/N
in case you are confused, the whole paragraph which is italicised is in Junsu's POV.
and the poll for the next fic is now closed! thanks for voting, and the winner fic is Bad Woman. be anticipating a new genre of writing that xiaoxi is going to showcase! ^ ^
btw, i have been updating my profile nowadays, so check back frequently to my profile alright!
comments and critisms are more than welcomed! :D
xiaoxi,loves.
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Date: 27 January 2010
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